Saturday, May 14, 2011


"The actress’s next-door neighbors, who may not have had the chance to see her perform, might say that the person they know could never have been, under any circumstances, either elegant or cruel. " - Wallace Shawn

I wonder what percent of the people I come in contact with know anything about this other side of me. I'd say 1% of people I work with and go to church with have any idea who I become when I step into rehearsal. That's sad, isn't it? I mean, I'm "odd" at work, that's for certain. I wore a Gryffindor tie and student-donated nerd glasses to school last Thursday just to make my students laugh... but, who knows exactly how angry I became as Othello last year? I remember vividly stepping offstage, shaking so much from the anger that it was nearly impossible to button my Tybalt vest and hop back on stage after. Who from work knows this? Nikki does, my senior student Andres does. Wow. I guess that's it. 


Is acting a secret? I guess in a way it is. I know I annoy my Facebook friends with posts about upcoming shows, but very few have actually seen me perform, and it's impossible to relay what you actually do through one-sentence blurbs. 

I'm feeling a little alone at the moment. 

I assume it's the same for all theater-folk who go back to the real-world after a temporary high. I wonder how many of my coworkers are artists, musicians, creators at night and here I am being the one who has not the slightest idea what that means for them.

1 comment:

  1. You know, my family actually have very little true understanding of what it is that I do. . . even less why I do it. In some ways, it is frustrating when they don't understand my exhaustion or the pressure I put upon myself. But in other ways, it is my own little secret, separating myself from my family. Having something that is wholly my own-- my own "little world". And I don't think there's anything wrong with that as long as the secret doesn't keep me from being what I need to be in that room with those actors at that moment. As long as I'm not actively hiding myself, a little misunderstanding of me can be useful.

    That doesn't make any sense, I guess. Nevermind. lol!